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Love and Human Bonding Versus Sexuality
Jump if you are in a hurry:
Love And Human Bonding Versus Sexuality -- In a Nutshell -- Sexuality vs. Bonding -- Taboos and Rituals -- Natural Limits, Personal Choices and Morphic Fields -- Monogamy and Polyamory -- Compersion - the Opposite of Jealousy -- Bonding Types -- Monovalent Type -- Multivalent Type -- Duration and Scope of Bonding Contracts -- Casual Sex -- Love Affair -- Permanent Relationship -- Shorter Relationship -- Lifetime Relationship -- Morphic Field Boundaries -- Value Ratio Of Bonding Models -- Celibacy -- Monogamy -- Polygamy -- Swingers -- Free Love -- Tribal Group -- 4th Density Family Group -- God Emulating Human -- Your Personal Future
Love And Human Bonding Versus Sexuality
A wise man has once said that if you try to cut a line which is carrying strong life force, it will explode right into your face. This can be observed in many ways, but the two areas where it is most obvious are the areas of human sexuality and human bonding - combined into the buzz word "relationships", although a second look will show that these two things are not always the same. No other part of life produces more heartbreaks than love, and no other part of life leads to more madness and crimes than sexuality. (Well, religion maybe... or how about taxes...)
In both cases a line that carries strong life force is cut, or otherwise tampered with, and bang! there you have your explosion. It sometimes takes years, or even decades, but the explosion always comes - if the life force was still strong, and not already withered away under massive Morphic Field influence, which is the opposite of an explosion - in this case, the life force disrupted turns inward and destroys the integrity of the person under attack.
Why are these areas so loaded? Now you may want to say that terabytes of information have been written about this, but the answer can be given in one single paragraph: most spiritual beings, on this planet at this time in its history, are too solidly zoomed in not only to their human viewpoint, but to their specific culture - the hypnotic group mind that we are calling a Morphic Field. Some are also kind of obsessed with the game, if you will, but the basic problem is having too narrow a focus, whether that has been brought about deliberately, as some conspiracy theorists say, or not.
A little more leaned back, with a few hours or days of relaxed contemplation, some people might realize that they live in the wrong culture, and simply pack their suitcase and move to a better one - a culture that is more aligned with their personal nature. Or they go and start to build their own new one. Or: the instant cure of all relationship pains and sexuality issues would be to completely zoom out to the viewpoint of the Supreme Being. Unfortunately this is not very practical, at least not in daily life, outside of meditation sessions maybe, so we'll have to look at these things in a little more detail.
A healthy human being - well focused on his personal movie, but at the same time in touch with the rest of the Human World. The awareness of the larger parts of existence is reduced, which contracts his horizon, but at the same time makes for a more efficient Focus.
A human being who lost most of his life force. His Zoom Level is too small and too stuck to function. He has too little energy for his own personal life, and no more awareness of the world around him. Have a look at our Entropy page to see how this comes about, and how to regain lost life force.
Here we see only a few of the countless viewpoints that the Supreme Being has - or the image would be all white with rays of spiritual presence. He is literally "omnipresent". Every cell, maybe every molecule, every single unit of consciousness is a viewpoint of the Supreme Being. The human world is one branch of this wonderful big tree, and each human being is one Eye of God.
Sexuality vs. Bonding
Back to our topic! First, sexuality and bonding are not the same. We'll borrow an image from the Identity Page here. It illustrates that sexuality is right at the foundation of a human being's existence, together with other essentials like food, health, and a place to sleep. A person without a partner still has a sexuality. More about this on the page about Owning The Body.
Also there are forms of bonding without any sexuality. Parents with children, siblings with siblings, and many other types of relationship can have strong bonds but no sexuality. We already see that there is a multitude of possible situations of bonding, with and without sexuality. So far so good. Now what complicates it, and makes it insane, is the cultural taboo, defined as "an inhibition or ban resulting from social custom or emotional aversion".
Taboos and Rituals
This ties in with the amount of sanity or insanity of a certain culture's Morphic Field. A taboo on child pornography would be a sane taboo, because child pornography is physically and emotionally harmful for the children who are used as subjects. If a woman bleeds to death in childbirth because no male doctor is allowed to touch her and women are not allowed to study medicine, now that would be two rather insane taboos, working together to kill a young mother and make an orphan out of a newborn child.
A correct outfit in Islam. A lady's face must be covered. A man's face not. Where is the logic? There is no logic in a taboo. In fact they might have been imposed on us deliberately to wipe out logical thinking. Such things just short-circuit the mind.
Some historians say that the human species has been created by aliens, to be used as slaves and as soldiers. Arbitrary taboos plus absurd rituals would serve perfectly to break them into mindless obedience.
Why is there no culture without some crazy taboos? Because: there were "God" (ET astronauts') genes spliced into Earth ape DNA. So the slaves became too intelligent. Gotta keep them docile somehow - not?
Now this image from a catalogue for brides' wear looks correct to us. Face uncovered, genitals covered. Good looking girl, that's all we would think!
In Islam, this lady would be killed for showing her face and her body. And in our culture, if we took away the underwear, there would be an outcry. Logic? Same as above - none!
Animal genitals - nothing wrong with that (neutral value).
Human genitals - an outrage (negative value). Created by God, but an outrage. Logic, yeah.
Plant genitals - the embodiment of purity and innocence (positive value). Weddings, funerals, church services, all unthinkable without plant genitals (ooops, flowers.)
Were we to bring a bouquet of human genitals instead, people would call the police. What do you mean, they are all just genitals? Logic? What do you mean, logic? Logic is for computers. We have a culture! Hah!
This is one sick puppy of a tree's branch. It does not fill out the available space in the center. Seen from the viewpoint of the Supreme Being, this could be the family model of Polygamy, or that of the Tribal Group, which are both missing in the Western culture.
Natural Limits, Personal Choices and Morphic Fields
About natural limits and personal choices we already talked on the page about Morphic Fields. We'll borrow some images from there to have a closer look at love and human bonding vs. sexuality. But first we have to realize one thing: it is the nature of Spirit to express itself in every possible way. Like a tree, which will grow a leaf in every available place, life will try out every possible variation - maybe to find the best one, as Darwin suggested, but maybe just because it enjoys playing with such a rich palette of options? In this case, there would be no such thing as the best model - none of them would be more right or more wrong - all of them would be just parts of the ambition to combine all potential variations into one fascinating scintillating picture.
So, today on Earth we are looking at a multitude of models for sexual fulfillment, personal bonding, the upbringing of children, and taking care of our seniors, the people at the other end of a life span. For the Supreme Being this is still a very narrow focus, because he or she has to take care of beehives and anthills at the same time, and of bats and of whales, and of making a new galaxy here and one more black hole there, but on the Zoom Level of Humanity alone we already have a lot of options to consider.
Monogamy and Polyamory
All the family models we will explore are composed from two different types of building blocks, or human individuals. We are talking about monogamous people in contrast with people who are capable of Polyamory. Quoting Wikipedia: "Polyamory, often abbreviated to poly, is sometimes described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. [...] Polyamory differs from polygamy, which refers to multiple spouses. Traditional polygamy is usually patriarchical and often claims a religious justification. Polyamory, on the other hand, is a different outlook grounded in such concepts as gender equality, self-determination, free choice for all involved, mutual trust, equal respect among partners, the intrinsic value of love, the ideal of Compersion, and other mostly secular ideals. As of July 2009, there were estimated to be more than 500,000 polyamorous relationships in the United States."
Compersion, in a nutshell, has been called "the opposite of jealousy". It means that we enjoy a beloved person's love to other people, rather than feeling hurt by it. From a spiritual viewpoint, we include or co-create our partner's other loving connections rather than excluding them, making less of them, or even attacking them. Whether these other connections involve physical intimacy or not, does not really make a big difference. It is the inclusion vs. exclusion factor that counts.
The space that a traditional monogamous lady allows to her husband. The world that they share is illuminated with positive energy, but the husband's other love connections are attacked with the aggressive energy of jealousy. Basically they can only live in peace when the husband gives up, or cuts away, any other love (except maybe that to their children). If this lady forced him to cut away one of his arms or legs and throw it away as a sign of his love to her, she would go to jail. But to cut away the wealth of love he has created in the past, or may create right now, or in the future, is her right as a spouse? He has to mutilate himself in order to please her? By marrying her, he has sold away his rights to his body and his rights to connect with other people? This Morphic Field pattern is omnipresent in the Western culture. That they surround each other with aggression all the time is understood as part of their love. Huh?? Sounds more like hell on Earth - not?
The generous granting of space and freedom that comes with the mindset of compersion. This lady loves her husband WITH his other connections. She adopts his first spouse and their children as part of her own family, and their friendliness enriches her life. His former lovers are dear to her too. More than commanding every bit of her husband's attention, she enjoys seeing him whole, complete, with all his love connections alive and intact. Another word for this wholeness is "integrity". She would not enjoy the sacrifice of a cut off bloody arm or leg or love connection. Whether this inclusiveness goes all the way to physical intimacy is a question of their bonding type (see below), and the contract they have made when they got together. This contract should contain their very own personal visions for the future, rather than being a carbon copy of some culture's or church's general template (they are all different anyway, so which one is right?)
All this may look a bit complicated, but it will be clear in a moment. Lucky as we are, there are parallels for it in the world of chemistry. Fascinating! See how life is always experimenting some more. Where would we be today if we did not have elements that can form more than one bond?
A monovalent element - hydrogen. It can form one bond, either with a multivalent element or with another monovalent element. Here it has bonded with another hydrogen atom, so we are looking at a hydrogen molecule. As a human family model, this would be a monogamy, and only monogamy is possible for such people. They would rather live a celibate life than joining another couple or group into a polygamy. Sex without bonding does not appeal to them, as it is emotionally empty and they miss a real companion. A multivalent element - oxygen. It can form two bonds, either with monovalent elements, or with another matching multivalent element. Here it has formed a double bond with another oxygen atom - we are looking at an oxygen molecule - the active element in the air we are breathing. As a human family model, this too would be a monogamy, but both members could also function in a polygamy. They might take in a third multivalent person, and if all of them really resonate with each other, everybody would be happy. A multivalent element - oxygen - bonding with two atoms of a monovalent element - hydrogen. We are looking at a water molecule here. Good that hydrogen is neither jealous nor possessive, or we wouldn't be able to make a coffee or have a shower! As a human family model, this would be a polygamy - but the two monovalent people would be unhappy, because polygamy is against their personal nature, they need a partner of their own. Nevertheless, such things are enforced in some cultures. Strictly spoken, this is an act of Spiritual Criminality, as it overrides the individual's power of choice.
A third kind of personality does not bond at all. If forced into a family, they will either ruin it or function like robots. Such people can decide to suppress their sex drive and live a celibate life, or they can become swingers or live in a tribal group (we don't seem to have any such groups at the moment though). In a free love environment they are not functional either, because there we do have bonding even if not long term, and they simply don't bond. In chemistry this type would correspond with precious metals or rare gases - elements that do not react with anything else. However, in human life there is nothing precious about it. They cannot get along with a spouse, and if they have children, they don't live with them. Their emotional scene is barren, whether they get some kind of sex life going or not. They will probably have a lonely old age and be found as a mummy by accident, two years after their death, because nobody was missing them.
There is a fourth kind of personality, which is so new in humanity that you may never have seen one of them - the highly telepathic 4th Density person, who merges with their partner or partners rather than bonding with them. See more about these people in the chapter about the 4th Density Family Group.
Duration and Scope of Bonding Contracts
The many possible variations of sexual and/or bonding contracts between people are again a matter of Zoom Levels. For instance, the so-called "intergenerational contract" between parents and children is a long-term contract that goes over a whole human lifetime. It has basically to do with making incarnations possible in the long run. In a nutshell, a parent says to a child "I will take care of your body while it is still too young to function, and you will take care of my body while it is already too old to function." If parents and children play their parts with high quality performance, there will always be bodies for a spiritual being to incarnate. He just has to make sure that he takes good care of his children and his parents - or other children, or other old people -, and if no painful Personal Lesson takes away from this math, he can expect to find a good family when it is time for the next baby body.
Now, in bonding and sexuality matters we have all sorts of contracts, and again they are a matter of Zoom Levels. There are small and mid-sized and big and really big contracts. They are getting bigger in time, and they are getting bigger in the scope of what they cover in life.
Casual Sex as in one-night stands or in the Swinger scene: a contract short in time and small in scope: "I will sexually please you, and you will sexually please me." Duration: one sexual encounter. Scope: Physical sex only. Emotions are not part of this interaction, although it is helpful if people are friendly with each other - aggressions or coldness are a turn off, and after all what they want in such an encounter is a turn on.
Love Affair , also in a free love environment: a contract a bit longer in time and a bit bigger in scope: "I will sexually please you and fulfill your needs for passionate emotions, and you will sexually please me and fulfill my needs for passionate emotions." Duration: some weeks, months or even years. Physical needs like income or household are not covered by the scope of this contract, also not the upbringing of children or taking care of the old generation. For this contract to work, people must match each other's mood level, emotional configuration, and also have compatible sexual wishes. Affairs without emotional content actually belong into the casual sex category, only that they are a little more long-term.
Permanent Relationship , often (but not always) in some form of marriage: a contract for a long time, and ideally (if not in bad shape or slowly deteriorating after a while) large or even totally complete in scope: "I will take care of all your sexual, emotional and physical needs, and you will take care of all my sexual, emotional and physical needs." Roles can be shared - both make money and both work in the household -, or one provides income and the other does the household. Children can be part of the scene, and often are. Old parents are cared for. This relationship lasts until one of the partners, or both, no longer provides what the other one needs. Sex, emotions, physical care - once one feels a serious lack of contributions by the other, the relationship dissolves, unless it is kept alive a bit longer, for instance for the sake of children. This is called "serial monogamy" - it is not "til death parts us" but "as long as our love is alive". Could theoretically last longer than a lifetime, if people are really spiritual, really in love, and "death has no say"??
Shorter Relationship: aiming for a permanent relationship, testing compatibility. The contract is "Let's try whether we can come to an agreement about a long term contract, where we care for each other's every possible need, sexual, emotional, physical - let's see what is good and what is bad and let's find out whether we want to go for it."
Lifetime Relationship: permanent relationship that has been sealed for a whole lifetime and includes the proverbial "good or bad, sick or healthy, rich or poor" clause. Most often in form of a marriage. Here it can be that the sexual component deteriorates when one of the partners gets sick or loses his libido as he gets older. The rest of the contract remains intact. If the partner whose libido disappeared is in any way fair and perceptive, he or she will encourage the partner who still has his libido intact to find a lover, so his needs keep getting fulfilled. Another solution would be to provide some other form of sexual satisfaction, or pay for sexual services. To starve one partner of sex if he or she needs and want it, is irresponsible and a contract break - the contract originally included sex, it cannot be twisted to be sex-less in mid-term. Only if both no longer want any, can sex drift out of the picture.
Morphic Field Boundaries
Now, the image to the left below shows the correlation between personal choices and natural limits - the family models implemented by Humanity so far. The lady described in the subtitle is of the polyamorous type, she can bond with more than one partner. In the situation below she is free to engage herself in any way she sees fit, according to her personality profile, inside the natural limits. She either lives outside any morphic field, or in a liberal morphic field that by its very design respects people's personal choices, or in a morphic field that resonates with her nature (has the same preferences or set of preferences), or she has completed the human Standard Lesson of Morphic Field Emancipation.
Other than in most life forms, our mating has been partially unlinked from procreation. Some people even decide to live totally without offspring - which on a planet as overcrowded as ours should not be a very big problem. Various cultures have developed different family forms and different forms of sexuality. The main division is between sexuality with long-term bonding between partners, and sexuality without bonding - in such cultures, other ways have to be found to ensure the upbringing of children. In the image above we see the personal options of one lady who can share her partner with another woman or even more than one. She needs a stable structure though. This flexibility is her personal feature and does not come from any cultural morphic field. Having that culturally accepted would allow for a much more caring social structure, because single people could join a couple, have their sexual needs fulfilled, and enjoy the emotional warmth of a marriage without having their own partner.
In the image above we have two examples of people who are not the typical cookie-cutter copy of their cultural morphic field - they transcend it to a certain degree. Both live in a culture that approves of either celibacy or a form of marriage, but does not allow any unbound form of sexuality. The Christian couple to the right seasons their sex life with visits to a swinger club. For their Christian morphic field this is a mortal sin, but whom do they harm? They may have more fun together than other couples, who first get bored by their sex life and then give it up altogether. Fortunately the Christian morphic field is growing out of being violent, so they have a chance to implement their own lifestyle, even though the morphic field does not approve. - The Mohammedan man to the left was already married to four women and had children by all of them, when he met his soulmate from an earlier incarnation, the love of his life. He could have divorced one of his wives and married her, but decided to remain a loyal husband and father. Islam being a culture of physical violence and ruthless enforcement of sexual morals regardless of personal choices, this passion turned into a tragedy.
In the image to the right we see two examples of people who are not fully aligned with their morphic field. The more liberal morphic field does not destroy such people, while the very intolerant and violent one does. Now, when is it right and when is it wrong to break out of morphic field boundaries in bonding and sexuality matters, or rather to transcend them?
We have already seen that every culture on this planet has been given their own irrational taboo or taboos, plus their set of equally irrational rituals. Don't eat a cow, don't eat a pig, keep laying hens in battery cages (and people in skyscrapers - same thing), cut off girls' clitoris, keep your genitals covered, keep your face covered, no university for women, pollute the planet for the next millenia by using depleted uranium ammunition, blow all infidels to pieces - all this feels normal for the people inside that particular culture, the madness is only visible from the outside.
So far none of these cultures has fully emancipated from these regulations - some are just arbitrary, others outright destructive -, so we cannot really count on the logical capacity or social responsibility of our cultures, they already failed us too long and too massively. We have to do our own thinking, sorry if this is an effort, but after a little while we get used to it :-)
Value Ratio Of Bonding Models
There are several values to consider here:
Sexual satisfaction (Sex)
Personal freedom (Freedom)
Emotional fulfillment (Emotions)
Physical needs - income - household (Physical)
Reliable upbringing of children (Children)
Loyal caring for sick and old people (Seniors)
Now we will draw a little thermometer for each of the bonding, family and sexuality models given below. That should show us their up- and downsides, seen from two angles: the survival angle (human level values) and the "power of choice" angle (spiritual or personal values, as described in the chapter about Spiritual Criminality). To make for a complete picture, there are some more models in the table below than we usually see, because we have added types of love that transcend the human scope.
Celibacy: no partner at all. Typcial examples would be catholic priests, but celibacy is also required in other religions, and of course some people are forced to live a celibate life, because they either cannot find a partner, or have lost him or her. In some versions of celibacy it is not even allowed to masturbate. This is seen as a very spiritual way of living, but actually it is extremely harsh on the physical body, as it is denied a basic need. A really Caring Commander would not do such a thing. The body is basically an animal, and a really kind and responsible spiritual being would not be cruel to an animal. However, there may be Personal Lessons that require such experiences, and that always has to be respected - see more below. From a spiritual viewpoint, the main pitfall in the idea of celibacy is that the body is seen as something low or inferior - "only" matter. Matter's true nature as an equal brother of Spirit is denied. This error is massive and points at Spiritual Illiteracy, a specific version of Subject Illiteracy. See our page on the Basic Split between Spirit and Matter. - Celibate people, mostly nuns, are often active in social institutions where they take care of children or seniors, they are just not their own family. Also they may have emotional connection, and their celibacy could be their personal decision rather than culturally enforced. So these are all variables.
Monogamy: a Permanent Relationship between two people in form of a legal marriage. Typically between a man and a woman, now also becoming possible between homosexuals in some countries. For two monogamous people this would be an ideal form of a stable relationship, also well suited for the upbringing of children, and socially respected and established (full Morphic Field agreement and support). One big risk for a monogamy is that one or both partners may not be truly monogamous at heart - they may be of the multivalent type. If they have not made their own personal contract but bought into a contract pre-fabricated for them by their society or a church, there is a failure potential here. Breaks of such contracts that were signed, but not authored by the two spouses, make for a majority of heartbreaks and crimes in the area of relationships. Other risk factors are the same as for other long-term relationships: the decay process of Entropy. As soon as one or both partners cease to create the relationship in one or several areas, it is doomed.
Polygamy: a Permanent Relationship between more than two people in form of a legal marriage. Illegal in the Western culture. If all people involved agree on this system and are of the multivalent type, this family model can be a very positive one. For the upbringing of children it can be more flexible than the Monogamy, especially if there is more than one woman in the family - they can alternate in taking care of the children, if one is sick, giving birth or otherwise occupied. The risk factor in this family model is that it is typically in use in very violent countries whose Morphic Fields are ruthless in micro-managing family matters rather than leaving these decisions to the people involved. So it comes that monogamous people are forced into families with more than one partner, and are unhappy for their whole lives. In order to really work, the high ideals of Polyamory would have to be applied to the polygamy family - one of them being respect for a person's free will.
Swingers: Casual Sex without bonding, often with strangers (in a club), done systematically as a lifestyle. Some swingers are married though - so they also have a Permanent Relationship, and just season their sex life with additional casual sex encounters. Main attraction factors are physical features. Beyond the momentary sexual thrill, the personal quality of these encounters is questionable, also there is a risk of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, but there is one good thing about them: they break Morphic Field restrictions, so they have the potential of teaching a morphic field more tolerance and respect for personal lifestyle decisions. Objectively spoken, the swinger scene is promiscuous, but as this term is sometimes used as an insult and does then no longer respect the personal freedom which is a birthright of our divine nature, it could turn into an act of Spiritual Criminality to use it.
Free Love: Unregulated sexual encounters, similar to a Love Affair, but potentially with more than one partner. The contract is "We will exchange sexual pleasure and loving emotions right now." Can be of a shorter or longer duration, and is relatively small in scope, as it does not cover any wider responsibilities like income, household, upbringing of children or caring for sick or old people. Free love should not be mistaken for the Swinger scene, because it is fundamentally different. There can be high emotional quality in free love encounters, the focus is more on emotional fulfillment than on sexual thrill, and the attraction is based on personal resonance rather than physical features.
By not engaging in human survival goals like ensuring an income, running a household or bringing up children, free love can even be a very spiritual type of encounter, as the act of living fully in the moment of NOW, without clinging to the past and without any thought of the future, is seen als the ultimate way of existing by many spiritual movements. For Earth life this is not very practical, as it absolutely requires the planning of the future, especially if there are children, so young people tend to pass through the free love scene as a stage of self-realization before they move on to the relationship stage. Bonding does happen in free love. It is more fluid than in a relationship, and after a while two people who have met there may develop a stronger bond and become a pair. This process is hastened if pregnancy occurs. The couple may remain in the free love scene and continue to have outside sexual encounters, or not.
People in the free love scene do not necessarily have to be of the Multivalent Type. They can just as well be of the monovalent type, if they are on a crusade to break Morphic Field oppression. In this case their reason to be in the free love scene would not be the shallow chasing of always fresh and new variations of physical thrill that is at the core of Promiscuity, but a revolutionary mindset that is aiming at personal freedom and sovereign Ownership of the Body.
Tribal Group: an early family model from the times when human beings still lived in tribal camps in the wilderness. Sex would have nothing to do with bonding. Children were brought up by the mothers of the tribe, the men would provide food for everybody. No restrictions, no rigid rules or patterns - people would just go about their activities that were necessary for survival, like hunting, gathering firewood, building huts, digging out roots, or first attempts at agriculture. Sounds primitive, but while they were always anxious to have enough food or a safe shelter, they were never anxious about sex. Their contract was that everybody would do their best to survive, and sex was nothing to worry about. It probably wasn't very sophisticated, passionate emotions probably missing, and whether the women got anything out of it (except children) is a big question. So, for today the model would have to be upgraded with more lovemaking skills, more personal quality, and instead of hunting and gathering we would have income providers, but without jealousy between people, and without cultural restrictions about what is allowed and what not, it sounds pretty much like paradise. No social parasites. No classes. Just a personal pride in doing the best for the tribe. Maybe an early 3rd Density model for the 4th Density Family Group?
4th Density Family Group:
4th Density family groups have not existed in human history so far, as 4th density as such is a cutting edge new model of consciousness that starts to emerge right now. It is based on advanced spiritual abilities like telepathy and group consciousness. Members of such a family group perceive each other as parts of themselves, or rather they merge with the other members of the group into a bigger "me". We could say that they have dissolved the solid boundaries of the human ego, and are no longer fully separated from each other. Their "skin" surrounds no longer just one but several individuals, who are synchronized with each other in most every way and are acting in unison.
This requires high compatibility in the members of such a group. Actually their compatibility is the factor that makes them find and join each other in the first place. On the physical plane, there is a parallel to this in the joining of single celled organisms in order to form a multi celled organism - see Heidrun Beer's article From Separation to Co-Creation for more details. Each cell is still an individual, but they have a very thin and permeable skin that makes for the constant balancing of nutrients with the inner body environment by way of Osmosis. The only solid and impermeable skin they have is the skin to the outside that surrounds the whole organism. Inside they share the same biochemical environment, or quality of nourishment, and they perceive the whole compound of cells as only one Self.
Survival resources like money, space, food and also sex are shared by the members of such a group in the same way they would be shared inside a human body: each individual inside the group's skin gets his fair share of everything. The personal pride and ethical standard of all group members is that everybody inside their "skin" is fully taken care of - whenever somebody has a need or a want, none of them will rest before they have worked out the very best of solutions.
Jealousy or possessive 3rd Density forms of bonding become impossible, as they are based on the idea of separated individuals: "You <> Me", while 4th Density thinks in a "You + Me = One" pattern. They simply have to share these things, because any other group member's pain, hunger or need is perceived with the same, or nearly the same intensity as the own, just like the head cannot sleep while the stomach is hungry - they are parts of the same whole. Here we have the reason why Communism didn't work: people didn't perceive each other's feelings, they continued to act on personal greed and on violence, so ultimately they returned to their existence as separated individuals, solidly isolated from each other. Maybe Marx was a 4th density personality - his visions speak for it -, and maybe some of his comrades too, but they tried to build a 4th density society from 3rd density members - that cannot work.
Terms like Promiscuity totally lose their meaning inside a 4th density family group. Physical intimacy between different people inside the same "skin" is just like touching my own hand, my own knee, my own ear, my own elbow. These are all parts of my own self - calling me promiscuous for that would be completely improper, completely missing the truth of the situation. The truth is that I am being all of them, and taking care of them is basically taking care of myself - how can I be promiscuous by just being myself and touching my own parts? Furthermore, while promiscuity is aiming at very short term sexual fireworks, an encounter extremely short in duration as well as small in scope, the 4th density sharing is based on absolute loyalty of the widest possible scope - the type of total commitment that we have called Spiritual Love. Sex is part of that because it is one of many needs, and it gets high attention because all needs and wants get high attention and sex is not arbitrarily cut out of that intensity - while in a promiscuous environment it is often the only need that is perceived and taken care of, while the bigger part of the person is neglected, or in most cases not even perceived.
The most relevant factor in the 4th density family group is that its members immediately perceive each other's joy, pain and every possible need. It's like this: if my left hand is hurt by a thorn, my right hand will clean and dress the wound. This is the most natural thing to do, as they are both my own hands. Or if my head is cold, my hands will put a hood on it. The same Self that feels the cold proceeds to provide the warmth to ease the pain. In a 4th density family group, this principle is taking care of every need of every member - hunger, tiredness, emotional needs, educational needs, intellectual needs, health needs, spiritual needs, everything. Sex is simply an integral part of that. Neglecting one member's sexual needs would be just as absurd as supplying blood to four fingers of a hand but not to the 5th. And it would backfire badly, because the whole body would suffer from the pain and panic of that one neglected finger.
If an individual of the 4th density personality type cannot find matching "family" members of the same type, he or she may try to connect with the 3rd density people in their environment who come closest in quality and abilities. Such connection attempts usually end in a disaster of mutual non-understanding and painful disappointments. The 4th density person may get depressive to the point of becoming suicidal, as their very nature asks for a life with others, and they either don't have any other people around or cannot make their family model work with them. Living on their own is traumatic for them, much as it would be traumatic for an arm to lose the connection to the rest of its body - it would bleed to death in a matter of minutes. Exactly this happens to lonely 4th density people - they keep bleeding the emotional output that by their nature is supposed to nourish the rest of the group. It helps the situation if both 3rd and 4th density people are educated about these principles (see page about Subject Illiteracy), but the real solution for the 4th density personality is simply to find compatible group members of their own type, and make it work in real life. Sometimes only one can be found. This is how 4th density people can end up in an apparent monogamy, but in fact it is the smallest version of a 4th density family group, and if they find matching people later, this group could expand in size.
The 4th density group consciousness concept may be hard to understand for 3rd density people, but if we keep in mind that for instance bees can see in the ultra violet light spectrum while we do not, and ants know only two dimensions, so that when they crawl up and down a tree they believe they are on a flat surface all the time, we have some more examples of the wide range of variations that life has brought about. Life will simply try out any possible model that it can dream up for a certain challenge.
There is one big risk for the 4th density family group, which is the attack by established Morphic Fields - see the fascinating bestselling novel Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein, written in 1961, where this family model has been described first (Heinlein traces it back to early Christianity), complete with all morphic field attacks imaginable. If they are only mild - as in harsh critique or opposition -, that can be tolerated or overcome, but some morphic fields may simply wipe out such groups by killing them physically. However: there was a time when newly emerging life forms - the plants - produced a gas that was toxic to many life forms existing at the time - oxygen. Today most life forms breathe the oxygen that plants produce, and as an exchange supply them with the CO2 they need for their growth. The old way of breathing is very much in the minority now - anaerobic microbes. So, as life always evolves (until it turns around and starts going down the road of Entropy), 4th density groups may become a more familiar concept in the future. If not, then Darwin was right, and they are not fit to survive. But predictions and channelings from various sides all say that Earth is moving into 4th density consciousness, so these tiny groups would be the first moves of that major step in evolution.
A God emulating a human being has zoomed in to the size of a human viewpoint, but has kept his God level energy and awareness. He transcends the human world in scope and is intimately in touch with all that is.
God Emulating Human: Not a human family model, but we include it here so you can recognize such a person, should you ever meet one and wonder what the hell you are looking at (they are rare). The underlying bigger truth is that all of us are Gods in Disguise (title of a fascinating book written by Alan C. Walter.) The Dalai Lama was once addressed as a deity walking on Earth by a journalist, and he smiled at the man in his typical endearing way and told him that every single person on Earth is of the same divine nature, only that he (the Dalai Lama) is aware of it, and most others are not. He continued with the statement that he sees it as his mission on Earth to remind his fellow humans of their own divine nature. Now that is an example of "God emulating human": A fully aware unit of consciousness on a mission to wake up others who have fallen asleep, or have been overpowered and gone unconscious. He is commanding a huge followership and is adored by many more, but his basic attitude is to humble himself into being human (making himself smaller) in order to serve others by teaching them to remember their own greatness - a fascinating contradiction, if there ever was one.
There may be other reasons for a God level being to emulate a human person. He may want to assist humanity in other things than consciousness work. He may want to bring a new important development into existence - electricity, aeroplane traffic, or the internet. He may want to study a culture, family life, human relations with nature, a part of human history, or any smaller aspect of human existence. If that aspect happens to be love and/or sexuality, we may look at a person who keeps doing new and different things in this department, as if on a study checklist - very contrary to the typical pattern where people repeat doing the same thing over and over. Such people may find themselves under massive Morphic Field attack, as this is a concept more or less unheard of in human cultures. On the other hand, some very spiritually powerful people may trample through Earth live leaving a trail of emotional casualties behind them, like broken marriages - including children who suffer from the loss of a parent -, or girl- or boyfriends who cannot understand what happened to them. These cases are not at a God level, they are just powerful people on an ego trip. A God is motivated by Spiritual Love. He or she would go out of their way to avoid such disasters.
If they are not on a journey specifically designed to explore human love, bonding, family life, the upbringing of children etc., God level people are often doing projects "bigger than life", and have no family that would absorb much of their attention. If they have adopted a body in a culture that requires them to be celibate, they will be celibate. Otherwise they are too kind to force a body to live under such inhospitable circumstances - bodies already have a hard time to endure the enormous energy of a God level spirit. People who are very proud of their celibate virtues are most certainly not at a God emulating a human - they are humans on some specific Personal Lesson, like overcoming the addiction to physical sensation, living against nature, or another such Screenplay that fascinates them. A God on the other hand will very much be a Caring Commander and do anything to keep his animal not only in good shape, but also in a good mood.
Very rarely a God level being meets another God level being who would be a real peer. Short of that, rather than having a spouse or a family who would suffer from their occupation with big projects most of the time, they appreciate the occasional offerings that come to them from the people they encounter during their journey through Earth life. Many of these offerings can be on the energetic level - affection, admiration, but also the vibrations of beauty that come from the world of art - music, uplifting paintings or inspired writings. Some will also be on the body level: food, presents, flowers, physical touch from gentle caresses all the way to lively sex. But even that can come more as a vibration than in physical form. A God level being's existence transcends the body so much that the energetic vibration is far more important than the physical action. Just a bite from another person's cake may be enough to activate that frequency. Or a tiny sip from their champaign. Passionate erotic energy coming half way around the globe from a sweetheart on another continent may appeal more to a God than a Swinger's plain sexual intercourse, which is painfully lacking in heart energy, sensual raffinesse and spiritual connection.
Were you ever curious why offerings to the Gods were often burned on an altar in history? Humans were sending them the food's frequency pattern rather than the actual meat. Outside of a human existence, a God level being does not depend on energy inflow. He is producing energy of any desirable pattern on his own in abundance. But emulating a human, he needs inflow, because this is part of the human nature, and he would not be emulating a human very well if he did not also emulate this need.
Moving on, the God might leave behind some of his own energy with the people whom he encountered. If he was positively touched by what he saw, we might call this present of divine energy a blessing (minus the funny gestures). Like, say, a man who at the age of 50 starts a second family where he aims at doing everything right that went wrong in his first family, where he was still too young to be a responsible father. That would earn him a God's blessing. If on the other hand the movie that he visited was disgusting or painful, as in the case of a man insulted by his wife for so many years that it results in psychosomatic illness, the energy answer might be called "God's wrath" rather than a blessing. In other words, he will leave behind a comment like on an internet blog, just in energetic form rather than written language.
A God level being can be hurt very much if the humans whom he loves cannot understand him - he being so much bigger than any of their customs and patterns. In the Western culture, one such painful area is physical intimacy, or in other words, tactile communication. A monogamous human can hardly understand a God's all-encompassing outpouring of love energy that will arrive on all available channels. He can hit the God with very bad accusations, as he cannot wrap his mind around what the God is doing. In such a way, the God can lose "his people" - the very motivation for him to be around in the first place. He may leave the scene when this keeps happening, if he has completed all his work and there is nothing left for him to do there. But it would be a mistake to call this a suicide. If a human being kills himself, it is usually because he has failed too much in his human endeavours and has contracted to zero size. The God level being on the other hand leaves because he is tired of too many restrictions put on him by the patterns of being human, and wants to shake these things off and expand back to his real stature. Again, both are immortal spiritual beings and a human life is just one of many movies they play, but one is aware of this fact and the other is not.
Having zoomed in to the size and nature of a human being, a God is still operating much more in the energetic range than with the physical body. He has frequencies active on all human sense channels: vision, sound, smell, taste, and tactile. He is "sending" and "receiving" on these channels, much like a 2-way radio set. Other frequencies transcend the physical senses, but like the octaves on a claviature the physical senses are repeated in the finer, or so-called "subtle matter" range. These things are happening in the energy bodies. We all have them, just in a higher or lower state of activity.
The image above illustrates a God emanating energy with a complete spectrum. Note that he is not shining at one particular tree. He is just shining, period. Asking the sun to shine at only one tree is just as absurd as trying to put the sun into a matchbox. If the sun were incautious enough to even try to crawl into that matchbox, it would burn the matchbox to ashes in an instant.
Can a God switch off a certain frequency that would be part of a complete spectrum? Of course he can - he has complete control over these things. Here it is the color "blue" that he does not emanate. Does it make sense to switch that off? You judge. Our God here has already zoomed in to the size of a human being, which makes his viewpoint rather tiny, compared to that of a galaxy or a universe. Next he has zoomed in to the human being's nature - he can not breathe under water like a goldfish, he cannot fly like a humming bird, he cannot see ultraviolet like a bee. But he has his five senses. Now he switches one of them off. Why so? A Morphic Field requires him to act against the very nature he just assumed. Logic? None! We are used to having our tactile channel switched off (sex is only a part of that). How would you feel if you had to manage your day blindfolded instead, because a morphic field requires you to switch off the visual channel? Think about the possibility that somebody might be attacking your sovereignty in an attempt to enslave you, or keep you enslaved. Just food for thought.
Now, human beings have other priorities than Gods. They must scratch and peck for their food, they must build a nest, they must raise their fledglings. If he wants to enjoy such a movie by playing a human, a spirit has to turn off - or downsize - much of his energy, and reduce his options drastically. That's how we all got to be human - reducing our original God level selves, cutting away this, cutting away that, pouring our essence into a model a million times smaller than our original selves. Shrinking. A God who is only emulating a human, however, has not downsized his awareness and energy - only his space - maybe not even that. If you want an encounter with such a person, turn back into a God yourself. Then he will not burn you, and you will have a blissful time together.
As a concept, that can be done in a fraction of a second. In the physical universe, it may need some weeks, months, or even years. In the past, the way to do this might have been a spiritual practice like "Shivaic Tantrism, the secret spiritual path that seeks to transcend ego and rediscover the divine by embracing the passions" (book cover quote) - see Heidrun Beer's review of Daniel Odier's book Tantric Quest. In times of the internet, you can unravel your previous reductions in processing - you don't even have to leave home, you can get most sessions over an internet phone system, like Skype. Or you may want to enjoy staying human for another while - especially if there are some of your Personal Lessons open that you first want to complete. We can assist you on both of these roads.
Your Personal Future
We hope you have found your own personal bonding and family type somewhere on this page, if you have not known it before, and that we could inspire you to design your ideal contract with your partner or partners. Make sure that it has your own signature, not that of your parents, professors, country, or church! One recommendation: Always keep a promise that you have made, and never make a promise that you don't want to keep. It is up to you, and only to you, what you promise to another person, inside and outside the area of relationships.
Relationship, bonding and sexuality matters belong into the array of human Standard Lessons. They are typically learned up to the age of 30, or earlier than that. Now like other standard lessons, there can be many reasons that these things have not been fully mastered at their typical time. Bad parenting, incompetent teachers, health problems, Morphic Field suppression, natural disasters, important projects, saving the world, other distractions, war... you name it!
If this happened to you, let it not discourage you - in a minute from now, you can return to these unfinished tasks. The world is your oyster! Some men learn to read and write in their 40's. Some ladies don't learn to make their own money before their kids have grown up and they got a divorce. It is never too late to catch up with a Delayed Lesson. Do you really want to wait for your next incarnation? Maybe what you need is not a fresh body - just a fresh resume? And don't worry about who will be at your side as your teacher, your coach, your personal angel. Remember the saying "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear" - if you muster the courage to tackle that challenge, the Intelligent Universe will write some really lovely Key People into your script.
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Last edited: 13.01.2016