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Life Lesson Processing Theory Tour
Spiritual Love and its Translations into the Physical Plane
<<< Love And Human Bonding vs. Sexuality -- Life Plans, Screenplays, Personal Lessons >>>
Jump if you are in a hurry:
Spiritual Love, Definition -- "Temperatures" of Existence -- Temperature Loops -- Human Emotions --
Ways of Co-Existence -- Degrees of Love -- Translating Pure Energy: Four Patterns of Loving -- Automaticity -- Give and Take -- The 5 Love Languages -- Sex as a Channel of Love -- Destruction of Love -- COUNTER FORCES: Forbidden -- Punished -- Never Developed -- Treason -- Contracts -- Abuse -- Perversion -- Rejections -- Wasted -- Failures -- Discouraged -- Exhaustion (Burnout) -- Bad Brain Health -- All The Way Back to the Top
As described on our Screenplay page, Spiritual Love is pure divine essence flowing from a Self to an Other. It is employed in 3rd Density to keep individuals connected, who, according to the nature of 3rd Density, would be completely separated, if not for the tissue between them that is woven from love flows.
Originally, spiritual love is of an irresistible power. There are, however, factors that can destroy this precious energy or at least lessen it considerably, and thus make a person unable to nourish another or others energetically, or even unable to take care of them on the physical plane - as it is ultimately always love that motivates us to do anything beyond plain survival, and when that drive is missing, very little is left.
"Temperatures" of Existence
In a spiritual being's Chain of Incarnations, there are times where he moves away from his origin, and times where he moves closer to his origin. This is not as simple a trajectory though as the protuberance of a sun that we have used as an analogy to demonstrate an individual's timeline, beginning at the point of exit from the whole, through countless adventures and experiences as an individual, back to the point of re-entry to the whole.
It is more complex for one reason: there are more centers of gravity and energy emanations than the one represented by the sun in our image. Basically each spiritual being we encounter, each culture and each individual "movie" has its own center or centers of gravity and energy emanations which determine our motions, and which can increase or decrease our temperature to the degree where we are passive (effect of others) more than active (having an effect others). Some make us warmer, some make us colder. And vice versa: simply by being and acting as ourselves, we make some of them colder and some of them warmer. Our general direction is reflected in the Uptrend- or Downtrend Vector shown below. This consists not only of the summed up influences to which we have been exposed, but also the amount of Entropy in our own system.
This image of ocean currents gives a better idea of the possible loops in temperature that we may undergo while existing as individual spiritual beings, before we merge back with the eternal "cloud" of non-individuated Spirit.
Each continent represents a culture. In them and between them are the islands of individual people, each with his own temperature in context with the continental (cultural) climate. As we travel through the world, we are influenced by all of these temperature vectors, while we also influence them to a greater or lesser degree.
Here we see the many interactions between a hot sun (Spirit) and a cold planet (the physical world) in more detail. Sun's heat and energy is the driving force of all life, the cooling and warming up of water being the motor for countless individual activities. This analogy shows us that we can exist in "loops" of cooling and warming up for a very long time, being warmed by the uplifting actions of Spirit and of loving people, and being cooled by negative experiences or by Entropy, without ever reaching a final state of being completely frozen (spiritually dead) or completely evaporated (returned to the non-manifested condition of pure potential).
Human emotions reflect the coldness or warmth in a spiritual being's condition. They can be roughly grouped into three zones: the failing zone, the fighting zone, and the thriving zone. Love with its "Temperature Degrees" exists only in the thriving zone.
An important factor in this scale is the vector (direction) we are observing. This is important to understand, since the level as such doesn't tell as much as the overall trend, which makes visible whether we are in a stage of evolution or in a stage of Entropy (deterioration or decay).
Boredom, for instance, can be alarming if it occurs as a result of slipping out of the thriving zone. If it occurs as a result of climbing up from the failing zone or the fighting zone, it is a wonderful improvement.
Ways of Co-Existence
Our internal "temperature" determines our main patterns of interacting with others. Or vice versa, we can determine a person's "temperature" by studying his interaction patterns, if we don't have a direct energetic perception of it. There is an amazing parallel with the states of aggregations of water, which is why we use water images for illustration:
In a frozen condition, most encounters between people are collisions, or in other words: fights. While in the warmer conditions we peacefully learn from others and also teach them, in our encounters while in the frozen condition we often break them, or are being broken, or both. Over time, we can get crushed to such a degree that we are no longer fighting but failing.
There are many degrees of flexibility and fluidity, from very cool to boiling hot: the higher their temperature, the greater the power. Their common denominator is an elastic, malleable condition while individuals are still separate. This allows people to co-operate and be "in touch" with each other through energy flows, without giving up their independent position.
When water gets so hot that it boils, there comes a point where it is no longer liquid. It evaporates into the air and turns into a gas. This gives it completely new capabilities. Same for the spiritual being: Beyond the most intense love there comes the ability to simply permeate each other and merge into one. This can feel completely cool and serene, and yet it is in a way above love, because people's separation begins to dissolve.
Degrees of Love
In the Scale of Human Emotions, consisting of major steps like fear, aggression, boredom, enthusiasm - love is only found at the top of the scale. In itself, love has finer divisions that we are listing here. In intuitive observation, they can best be perceived as temperatures.
Love exists in the warmer zones of a spiritual being's fluid condition. It is a flow of energy, technically a spirit moving a part of his energetic substance over to another spirit, thinning the walls (or at least crossing the distance) of separation.
Below that, in the solid (frozen) zone, there is no love. Also love ceases to exist at the upper end of the love zone, where a person transforms into a more aerial condition. There, spirits permeate each other so intimately that they come close to being one. Separation has dissipated in this stage, so that there are no more flows, which require a firmly defined start- and receipt point.
Translating Pure Energy: Four Patterns of Loving
Basically, love is a Flow of energy. This is its original form - not to be confused with the attraction between man and woman, the chemical reactions in our organism that are caused by love hormones, commonly called "being in love", or the human sex drive. All these things can be animated by spiritual love, but they can also be active on their own, based on purely physical reactions and patterns. They have kept the human race alive for millions of years, genetically programmed instincts, without any transfer of divine essence. And yet it is this transfer that makes us breathe divine bliss in the presence of a person who is capable of spiritual love.
Spiritual love can, but does not have to be romantic or passionate. Its power can also have a calm and patient character, or it can be humorous, even playful. There are many more precious and intimate wavelengths in which spiritual love can express itself. In its original form as a flow of energy its streaming can be perceived by some, but not all people. Somebody who has no energetic perceptions at all, will not notice a flow of love coming at him, even if it is very strong and focused. But there are ways to work around that. Among human beings, three patterns of "translation" have developed, where the flow of energy slips into a physical object, like a hand slips into a glove, and touches the beloved person indirectly, on the physical level.
So we have four basic patterns of loving - in practice, they split up into hundreds of branches that we know as every day's mundane activities. If we zoom all the way out, we realize that a majority of these activities is directed at creating a future for ourselves, our partner, our children, our community, and humanity in general. Can there be a greater demonstration of love than giving someone a future - a space and time where he can play, have adventures, or evolve and grow and fully unfold? All these countless activities go back to these patterns:
Direct flow of love energy (untranslated)
Love energy translated once - through the body (sometimes present in sex, but not only there)
Love energy translated twice - through a physical object (tool), operated by the body
Triple translation of love energy - through a product, produced by a tool, operated by the body
In all the hassle of operating machinery and other tools, in the complications of modern administrative tasks and the struggle for survival, we often look at the "tip" of our combination of tools only - the product, the tools, the body that operates the tools. We forget to perceive the flow of love that animates this whole chain of causation; we forget why we do what we do: because we love our spouse, our children, our community, our country, our world. The focus narrows down to the activity, it shrinks away from the person or persons who receive our work, it shrinks away from our own center, the point from where our energy emanates, or should, or would emanate - if we were not forgetting about it... Only in the rare moments of contemplation can we expand this focus, so that we perceive ourselves at the source point of our actions, ourselves and the love that we feel. And only in these moments of contemplation can we put our full attention on the person or people to whom our work is going, the ultimate receipt point or points of our love.
This is the first stage of Entropy, the decay that happens when an energy or activity is no longer freshly created: high time to become aware of it and take action! When we feel really tired and life seems to make no more sense, maybe our activities have started to degrade by becoming automatic, reduced to a purely physical level. They lost their connection to the source of energy that originally motivated them - we breathe no more love - we don't breathe it out, and probably don't breathe it in either.
Relationship therapist Gary Chapman, the author of the important book The 5 Love Languages
That is another possible reason for tiredness and exhaustion. Like breathing, love is a two-way flow, it must be balanced between inflow and outflow. It is not possible in the long run to always flow out, out, out, and never flow in. If nobody returns our love, this delicate exchange is out of balance. On the other hand, always flowing in, in, in, is also unhealthy. If we only flow in love, we don't contribute our share to the tissue that is woven between ourselves and other people, and the bond will be frail and fall apart easily. Also at a very deep level we will feel guilty for this lack of contribution, and maybe punish innocent people for our own shortcomings... a well known pattern of people who are "out of exchange".
Important in this context are the 5 Love Languages as described by relationship therapist Gary Chapman. He has identified five basic love languages - in our understanding, they are all translations of the primary energy of spiritual love, but among human beings (who are supposed to have no direct perception of love energy), they are essential to know, distinguish, and of course essential to use.
The 5 love languages as defined by Gary Chapman are:
Words of Affirmation
Receiving (Giving) Gifts
Acts of Service
In reaching through to a person, it is important to know his or her main love language - more than one can be used, but one will be the most important, the one to be used first and above all others. On the other hand, in order to make ourselves known to our life partners and friends, it is important to know our own main love language - if this essential factor remains unknown, we may have a feeling of starving for love, simply because the key people in our life don't know how to translate the primary energy of love that they want us to receive.
Of all these things we have a very natural understanding when we are born. Later, the give and take of love may be beaten out of us or in some other way destroyed, or we have a bad role model, or we have no role model at all. In Life Lesson Processing, we look at the specific reasons how love can be destroyed, and work with you to turn you back into the radiant source of love that you have been at the beginning of your existence.
Spiritual beings have very different desires, very different ideas about life, and very different energies. They use some of them to fill the empty movements of sex with a meaning. The energy of love does not always animate a sexual encounter - when it is present though, sex takes on a divine quality, or we could say that a "bubble of heaven" has formed in the bedroom.
Sometimes both partners literally "make love", sometimes only one, often none of them. If we want a quality relationship, we better pay attention to the degree of love that we put into sex. Raw physical satisfaction is not an event worth of remembering (it is still good for the body). Selfish desires are rather sad to watch - immature at best. Pragmatic planning makes some sense; fun, thrill, artful creativity are wonderful, but do these things really weave a new fibre into the bond that connects us with our partner?
Only when the line of divine substance is fully present in all of its sections, only when it is unbroken and streaming during sexual activity, when it powerfully reaches out from one spirit's center, through his body, his actions, through the other body all the way to the other spirit's center, will sex be a channel for the nourishing energy that we call spiritual love - "food for the soul" - the fibres that keep us connected while we exist separated from each other in 3rd Density.
Between 4th Density people, where separation no longer exists and people are naturally aware of being each other, sex will be a synchronized activity of one person with two bodies, happily taking care of physical needs, delightfully playing with exciting energies, enjoying peak moments of ecstasy. As 4th Density integrated (group) consciousness expands in size, there is a potential of quality sex involving more than two people. While at the beginning of the 21st century this is still a daydream, Robert Heinlein has envisioned it in his novel Stranger in a Strange Land already in 1961. He provides the whole spiritual and philosophical background for love and marriage between more than two people in this most famous Science Fiction novel.
Sex is an interaction of physical touches, originally designed by nature for procreation. Like other physical survival activities - eating, dwelling etc. - it has been cultivated, or rather it can be cultivated into a much more sophisticated, artful expression of human creativity and, potentially, love. If we compare a 5-star dinner with biting off from a carrot, or a 5-star hotel room with sleeping in a tent, the bandwidth of how human culture evolves nature becomes immediately visible. Similarly, sex can be raw or refined; plain or rich in variation and detail.
But even in the most artfully evolved version, sex is still not saying anything, it still has no message - in electronics, it would be a Carrier without a Signal. It consists of moving body parts to a point of climax, period. It could be turned into a tool that communicates ideas like "I love you", "I care for you", "I want to make you happy" - but like a sausage casing it can also be filled with many other things: crude lust, selfish desires, pragmatic planning (of a relationship or a family with children), romantic passion, a general craving for physical sensation, a pathological need for attention or admiration or acknowledgement... the list could go on and on.
From a spiritual viewpoint, sex in itself is neither good nor bad, it is empty. (For the body it tends to be good, if both partners agree to the encounter, and both get satisfied). The value of sex changes, depending on how we fill it. If spiritual love slips into a body (as one of many potential tools or vehicles), sex can turn into the most intense instrument of personal adoration, commitment and care. Love makes the difference. If our sex life is love-less, we need to look at our ability to love in general, and find out what happened to it. As a newborn child we had it. It was not sex-related at that time, but we had the ability to love. What happened after this time?
Like other elements of spiritual or human existence, love can be affected by Entropy, or in other words, by the decay that happens when an energy or activity is no longer freshly created. There is no counter-force involved in this, the process is entirely based on the absence of new creation - it first becomes automatic, then the automaticity starts to fail, and finally the whole construction falls apart entirely. The chaos and rotting of something that has once been precious and well organized is awful to watch, but if new energy is applied, it can straighten out and blossom again.
The energy of spiritual love can also be destroyed by counter-forces. Here is an overview for your orientation - there is more material available for practitioner training. This list is not necessarily complete - there can be additional factors in individual cases -, but here are the main elements that destroy spiritual love.
UNPERSONAL - LARGE (AUTHORITIES)
PERSONAL - OTHER PEOPLE
PERSONAL - SELF
Most of these factors could be summarized into one category: not rewarding, or even punishing a substantial and valuable contribution. Incidents containing these elements can be found and discharged patiently in some hours of Life Lesson Processing sessions, but there is also a shortcut: if we just realize that not rewarding, or even punishing a substantial and valuable contribution is an error in how to live life, a flaw in People Skills, based on a lack of education or sometimes on personal damage, we can go through all such events that we remember - just write them down on a piece of paper -, clearly view the person who made this mistake (sometimes ourselves, after having learned it from others) - and after some hours of this exercise, put this time of learning into the past and start into a new era of active love, now more experienced, mature and educated about human nature and the spectrum of its behaviour patterns.
Where this cannot be done, there is a Life Lesson Processing practitioner ready to assist you - just drop us a line!
Remember, spirit tends to express itself in a multitude of ways - it wants to try out all variations - explore every possible path. Even if we believe that we have seen all possible responses to an expression of spiritual love, no matter how sad or disappointing or weird, we could meet a new and even weirder one tomorrow - life exploring yet another way of doing things, by the good old method of Trial and Error. If we don't like a Screenplay that is unfolding around us, we can always walk out of it and dive into the next script in the stack on the desk of our non-physical screenplay writers. On the other hand, let's not forget that there is always the possibility that a person with a disappointing reaction to our loving contribution has a Health Problem. If we are really capable of spiritual love, we won't let them down by walking out on them at a moment where they would need our help.
Some more words about each of the main counter forces that can destroy or at least reduce spiritual love:
Spiritual love in its primary form as an energy flow can not be forbidden by anyone, but some forms of its Translation may be forbidden by a culture (see theory about Morphic Fields), and if this blockage works its way back into the very source of love in ourselves, this source may get blocked too, sooner or later. Again, spirit will try out all variations in life, good and bad ones, and so there have always been things like Cultural Taboos, spoken or unspoken laws, or even official legislation that made something illegal to be, do or have. Not all of them have to do with love, but if we have a closer look, rules forbidding acts of love are more frequent than we can see at the first glance.
One important ban is the prohibition of work for women in Islam countries. This will block a mother from providing for her children and giving them a future in a major way. It is taking a huge portion out of the potential "Acts of Service" that a mother can do for her family. Rigid regulations about going out and talking to others will reduce the potential to find new love connections. Laws that prohibit even the most innocent touches are not only oppressive in the area of sex and friendship, they also keep people in a condition of fear and submission - not a good setting for active love, which is a strong and brave thing, never timid.
In the Western culture, body communication is still very much a taboo, not only the special version that we call sex. This is a major problem for some people, especially the ones whose main love language is "Physical Touch". If they are not able to perceive and receive love energy directly, without any translation through the body, tools or products, they are probably having a rough lifetime (unless being safe in a blissful marriage or relationship). In some American countries several forms of sex between consenting adults are still forbidden - should we find this hilarious, or is it more tragic than funny? Certainly a loving couple will be less than entertained by going to court for lovemaking variations that are considered standard in most of the rest of the world...
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, forbidding certain expressions of love energy is an act of closing down one or several specific outlets of a stream, which will then first build up to an enormous pressure and later slow down and stop, if there are no other major outlets that it can use to flow.
The logical next step after forbidding something is the punishment for breaking the respective law, arbitrary as it may be. At the beginning of the 21st century, there are still countries where holding hands or an innocent kiss will result in severe corporal punishment or even execution. But not all punishment has to be physically painful in order to be effective. The more subtle methods of community gossip, social segregation and the financial losses following social segregation are quite effective as well. Less violent forms of punishment are still destructive enough to work their way back into the source of love in our own center, and tune that down or block it entirely. Rejections and Abuse of love as well as love being wasted can also act as punishment, in reducing our ability to love and express love and put the energy of love to work for our people. Each event that has such a pattern can be seen as a block in the channel that transports love - a trivial metaphor, maybe, but to the point.
Again, the worst thing that can happen is that we are punished for using our partners' or children's main love language, or vice versa - that they are punished for speaking our own. "Quality Time" cannot be given in some cultural settings where long working hours are making family time impossible - such people are punished for reserving quality time for their family by earning less money and losing social status, if not entirely losing their job. "Receiving (Giving) Gifts" is impossible for people who live in poverty: if they tried to spend money on presents, they would be punished by hunger, or by the dangerous consequences of unpaid bills. "Words of Affirmation" will not happen if people have been brought up in a primitive or violent family, where communication was not cultivated or trained, and where screaming or arguing was the usual way of dealing with each other. Friendly or positive words would be punished with ridicule and mockery - enough to shut up every attempt of saying something encouraging or even empowering -, but without a role model in good communication, a child would probably never think of saying something positive anyway.
"Acts of Service" also requires a role model in the family - one who not only demonstrates how a person can do things to help or support another or contribute to his well-being, it must also be explained to a child and the theory of it made transparent. In a family or social setting where there is constant fighting for food or toys or space or even for the remote control, it will be hard to turn this basic attitude of selfish greed around and learn the selfless generosity that is required for "Acts of Service". These two attitudes are sitting on exactly opposite flows: one is flowing in and holding in very tightly, the other is abundantly flowing out.
Finally, in our culture, many people are still completely crushed and unable to think or act or hold a position in the area of "Physical Touch", even though this is getting better slowly, and especially the younger generations will not accept punishment in this area anymore - at least in countries that have banned physical violence from the education of children. Whether the contagion of insanity in this area can be interrupted or maybe even reversed in the 21st century is an open question - it may take some more generations until this has been erased from our culture's Morphic Field.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, punishing certain expressions of love energy is an act of giving negative feedback to the use of specific outlets of a stream, which will result in less and less use of these outlets - if not the stream turns around to attack the source of the negative feedback and washes it away. Which way it goes cannot be predicted; it depends on the power of the stream. We see the same thing in rivers: either the rock blocks the water, or the water moves the rock...
The next logical result of forbidding and punishing certain expressions of love is that a few generations later they will no longer develop in the first place. Girls who have grown up in a family where generations of women have been housewives only, will not be trained into the thought of getting an education or looking for a job. People who have grown up in cold and distant families without any hugging or kissing will pass this on to their own children, and if sex or other forms of intimacy have been banned as expressions of love by a culture, a child will sit in a huge situation of Subject Illiteracy additionally to having no role model and having experienced no patterns that could be emulated in his own development.
Life Lesson Processing can not only discharge the punishment of such urges, it can also help to develop completely undeveloped or dormant ways of translating love from the primary energy into the physical plane - if the primary energy of spiritual love is still present and wants to express itself. Undamaged spiritual love has abundant energetic resources to create an environment where it can express itself and make everything happen that will make this possible. If no such urge can be found anymore, or in other words, if the well has stopped streaming or slowed down to a trickle, we will work in other areas to release frozen life force from painful emotional experiences and physical trauma. Sooner or later, love should start flowing again.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, an expression of love that has never developed resembles a closed pipe where an outlet has not been built. The stream of love energy will pass this spot without any friction. There will be no feeling of pain, or an awareness that something is missing - unless we get the idea from watching other people.
Sometimes we feel betrayed when a person whom we love and in whom we have put our trust, suddenly "deserts to the enemy camp" and changes his viewpoint or attitude completely. Theoretically this would be normal in the scheme of Personal Lessons - a personal lesson being a theme of interest that we study from many different angles - so changing the angle, or viewpoint, from time to time would be an expected thing.
If such a switch happens between incarnations, nobody will notice the glaring contrast between a wife beater and a beaten wife - the same spirit studying physical violence from various angles -, or between a celibate monk and a nymphomaniac - the same spirit studying sexuality from various angles. If, however, the switch happens inside one lifetime, or if we remember a person from a past life or maybe even several, and are dismayed about the way he has changed, the change of viewpoint may violate an existing personal contract that has never been properly dissolved, and thus appear as an act of treason.
Especially unwritten contracts, or contracts that are only assumed or implied - with unspoken thoughts like "she is on my side" or "we are in the same boat" or "he is my angel" - can become very painful and destructive to love, when an originally trusted person is suddenly no longer available or reliable, can no longer be counted upon. Even if we only help temporarily in a project like saving the rainforest, people start to count on us sooner or later - if we then disappear suddenly, they experience this as treason, whether we have signed any paper or not.
There are two types of contracts, and each of them comes in three versions and with two degrees of difficulty.
Closed-ended contract: duration specified, comes with an expiry date
Open-ended contract: no duration specified, does not expire (ever! - until inspected and dissolved)
Unwritten, unspoken = implied
Degrees of Difficulty:
Past life or lives
A contract from this lifetime, especially a contract on paper, can be dissolved rather easily - just look at how many married couples get a divorce every year! It is less easy with past life contracts, where memories are more sporadic and often are only remembered by one of the former partners. A typcial example would be a couple of teenagers who, carried away by their first romantic passion, exchange emphatic promises like "together forever", or some such fervent vow - not aware of the fact that they made an open-ended contract that will never expire, and be carried forward from one incarnation to the next, always with the nagging feeling that there is something unfulfilled, some kind of broken promise. Ten lifetimes later these people meet again in a totally non-romantic constellation, as business partners or brothers or sisters, and for no apparent reason one of them feels hurt or develops a grudge because the other one has "betrayed" him or her.
Implied contracts can also be initiated from our own side. Mothers often make a promise like "I will always take care of you" - a classical open-ended contract. If the child then wants to move out of that care and stand on his own feet, the mother can feel betrayed for the child breaking her promise. The illogic of this becomes only apparent when the whole situation is viewed in full daylight in session - as long as it works underground, in the dark, the pain of it can be devastating. Now imagine how messy this becomes if the mother-child relationship happened several lifetimes in the past!
Another perceived situation of treason is when a person leaves a morphic field (family, community, culture), planned or unplanned. Again, the act of joining it, even if passively (by being born into it) could be perceived as making a contract, most probably open-ended. Often such a contract has been made - in the Life Planning stage before incarnating! In that case, the contract break as such could itself be part of the Screenplay. Usually it can be resolved for the people who feel betrayed with the solution given below.
Among 4th Density people, a person leaving the group consciousness compound can feel intensely painful for the other or others, like losing an arm or a leg, or being torn apart in the middle. Serious bleeding of love energy can follow, sometimes to the point of Exhaustion. This requires special sessions designed for the 4th Density consciousness.
The solution for all 3rd Density situations of perceived treason consists of two steps: 1. finding the contract that has been re-activated because of the recognition that has occurred on some sub-conscious level (done in sessions that explore past lives, among other things), and 2. formally releasing the contractual partner from his old vows - setting him free for new adventures, new Screenplays. If there is indeed something that these two people still have to resolve together, some karmic debt to pay or more learning to do in a mutual Personal Lesson, they can always make a new contract that they will work together on a certain theme of interest. They may even agree on their memories of previous incarnations, but this does not happen often, and we should not try to enforce it - too great is the danger that the past life memory has been triggered by a mere similarity in characters, and we are not dealing with the same person at all.
So, if we feel betrayed because someone we love has made a step away from us, we simply need to give him his freedom back, with or without telling him. If he then comes back into the connection, he has returned out of his free will and in a new unit of time. If he doesn't, it was time to part anyway. Who wants to love or be loved on a leash of possessive clasping? It may appear paradoxical, but this act of deliberate parting can re-establish spiritual love in all its power, because the former partner's personal truth is completely viewed, recognized and acknowledged. Real love to a person embraces all of his steps, whether they come closer or go farther away. Real love to a person honors his freedom to come and to leave - even his freedom to evolve or deteriorate. To do this requires a concentrated focus on the other person, looking at him with full attention and total understanding, granting him infinite space and time for his self-chosen personal endeavours, and a strong stream of contributing energy - the very components of spiritual love.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, the perceived act of treason corresponds with a sudden redirection of a stream into a different part of the pipe system. If there is machinery left running in the previously used part of the system, all sorts of things can go wrong. When everything is shut down properly, the switch from one part of the system to the other goes smoothly.
That abuse of any kind, physical or emotional or verbal, will destroy the love between two people is probably obvious. Now what should not happen is that the abuse strikes through all the way to the source of the love in the person who is hit by the abuse, and destroys that! If we recognize abuse on a line where we are flowing out love, the proper thing to do is to close this line cleanly and seal it well, to keep our own ability to love intact, regardless of the abusive words or energies or physical blows that are flying around. We re-organize our connections and direct our love to those people who handle it well and return at least some of it. An exception would be an only small amount of foul language or other bad habits in a connection that is otherwise really working well love-wise - here it could make sense to work it out, discuss these things and make an attempt to improve the situation.
If there is no love connection left after such a really thorough and consequent clean-up, this does not mean the end of the world - things stay never the same, the situation will move again. While disconnected love-wise, we concentrate on keeping our body in good shape for better times, and on doing useful and positive things. One of the most positive things that can be done is to flow love to a bigger group of people - write a good book, a beautiful piece of music, create an uplifting painting. By the laws of "spiritual physics", such outflow should sooner or later create an echo of sorts, but even if it doesn't, the activity as such is already rewarding. To balance the outflow with a matching inflow, we can find the products of people who did exactly the same thing - directed their love to a bigger group of receipt points - we read uplifting books and websites, go to the theatre or to a concert, watch a good movie. The energy transported through these channels can be very substantial and will nourish us until new love connections come in sight.
Finding no new love connection at all can have several reasons. It may be part of a Personal Lesson, or of a Screenplay where we are employed in the service of other people. If a person has planned to learn selflessness or helping others, somebody must play the part of a helpless person in dire need - how else could helping be developed? Playing such a part may not be particularly pleasant, but sometimes we can afford some time to play a role in such a movie. Ironically, by playing the helpless part in teaching somebody how to be helpful, we are actually helping him - in his development, in his growth. If it works, it was worth the time.
An entirely different lesson would be to recognize an unviable environment - a family, community, country, or culture where love in the form that we envision can not be lived. Making our way out of that into a more viable environment, where love of our own flavour can flourish, may be a major effort, but we will certainly tell our grandchildren about how me made our way to the promised land!
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, abuse is a counter-stream of contaminated destructive energy that is directed against the stream of the clean energy of love. The step of sealing off the source of the contamination is an act of first aid - ideally we would use a certain part of the clean stream to clean up this source of contamination once and forever, if we can gain access to it and the counter-stream is not too violent.
One of the most scary things to watch is how love gets perverted into something ugly, indecent, obscene or dirty in the eyes and the mind of a person in our environment. Some people have trained that habitual put-down to perfection - most anything from the love department, especially sex (but not only that), is sneered upon, made less of, or called hair-raising names. Such a person really lives in his personal hell. He finds himself surrounded only by people who are motivated by low and slimy cravings. Romantic interest, erotic curiosity, the need for intimacy and closeness and a million more innocent and sincere human impulses - all that comes across to him as inferior and deserving nothing but disgust. To him, there is no purity visible in love things, ever.
We probably will not be in the same room with such a person long enough to really suffer, if he talks like this when we first meet. If it happens later, maybe even years later, after we have built a relationship or a life together or, God forbid, if there are children involved, there is a problem to solve! A standard prescription cannot be given for such a case. Certainly there will be attempts to repair the situation. As long as processing is happening on a regular basis, there is hope. Without that, there is very much less hope, but for the sake of survival - both of oneself and that of any children - it will probably be attempted to heal the relationship. Walking out is a last option if staying together is harming more than it helps.
If a person develops such patterns in his later years, especially after having been really sane and loveable for many decades, it could be a deliberate switch of viewpoint as part of a life lesson - described in the paragraph about Treason. He could also react to the final overwhelm by opposing forces that he has been fighting for a whole lifetime. This is known to make people take on the "winning role". In this case, the attitude that raves against love, seen in others, has been experienced as winning, the person switches sides and, having lost his fight, he finally becomes what he has been fighting.
There is also a possibility that his Brain Health is deteriorating - more below. That would actually be good news - because a sick brain can be cured, contrary to certain outdated ideas of mainstream medicine - , and then hopefully the earlier sane and loveable person will re-emerge. If he remembers the bad times at all, then only like a flu with high fever, where he also was confused and said irrational things. Hopefully, nobody will blame him for that, once his health has returned.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, perversion of this kind is the contamination of our own clean stream with irrational toxic substance, after which it becomes useless. The step of sealing off the source of the contamination is an act of first aid - ideally we would use a certain part of the clean stream to clean up this source of toxicity once and forever, if we can gain access to it and it is not too overwhelming or persistent.
Rejection of love is a painful experience - and yet we need to train how to go through such an experience gracefully and without losing our optimism. There is a message in any rejection, probably one of having not assessed a person well enough before making an approach. Each painful rejection will teach us its own lesson of what we have not seen properly - much of its pain will be caused by making such a mistake, be it small and silly, or big and fatal, or anything in between. Of course, looking at rejections of a really traumatic nature in session should be part of any processing program: what we don't want is that a rejection, or several, travels all the way to our center, to our source of love energy, and blocks that or shuts it down.
Outside of session we can exercise flowing love just for its own sake: we flow love to a flower, a tree, a cloud, the sun, into thin air or out into empty space. It doesn't always have to arrive somewhere. It can nourish random people, or nourish nobody - important is that our outflow of love is rich and never runs dry, at least not as a reaction to a counter-force. On the other hand, we can also have it stand still for a while and watch what happens. After all, we are this well's owners and should be allowed to control its flow. If we can stop it, maybe we can also start it again? If we learn that, we have learned something important!
Some rejections come without any violence or Abuse, they can be light and loving in themselves. It may sound paradoxical, but people who can reject a love approach without becoming blunt or rude are especially worth loving. We can enjoy this without transmitting any energy to them, translated or untranslated. But if we look a little more closely, there may be love coming from them anyway, regardless of what they are saying. Somehow we don't fit into their plans on the Earth plane - we have the wrong body, the wrong interests, the wrong age, the wrong language, or most probably the role that we want is already filled -, but on the spiritual plane they have a little love for us - probably because love is their general way of existing. To recognize this energy when and where it is present is not only a good exercise, it is also a precious experience. We should allow it a moment of Earth time, say a quiet "thank you" or "wow", or even mention this to the very person who just rejected us. Such moments are rare, but beautiful.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, a rejection is a complete block of a certain channel, caused by the intended receipt point of our energy. There is nothing else to do than to understand the signal and mark it in the map, so that we don't waste our energy with more attempts to reach this receipt point.
Some people will waste our love in all its translations, they will just throw it away, without rejecting it cleanly. They are too cautious, maybe too polite and diplomatic, maybe just too much of a coward, to let us hear what they are thinking, but their thoughts are not friendly - cold and uncaring at best - more probably they would be rough and insulting, if mentioned aloud. This is basically a kind of tacit Abuse that is not openly expressed, and we proceed exactly as if the abuse had been expressed in words or in actions.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, we are looking at a stream that is reaching its intended destination, but is then discarded rather than being put to good use. Neither an acknowledgement nor a return flow comes back. With good energetic perceptions, we can watch how our love and its translations are thrown away. If this faulty connection is not closed down, the permanent loss of love energy can lead to Exhaustion (Burnout).
That failures in expressing love will not improve our confidence in loving seems to be obvious - but does this really have to be so? Is not every failure an opportunity to learn more ways to translate our love and send it into the physical plane in a multitude of shapes and variations - an opportunity to refine our love skills?
Certainly a failure in love can be traumatic, and can reduce the ability to love like any other trauma. That's what processing is for. But after licking our wounds and some time that we need to extrovert and put the sad experience into the past, there are things that can be done beyond processing - study and training steps for many skills that have to do with putting the primary energy of love to work on the physical plane. More refined bedroom skills, quality communication training, courses in diet or childcare, even learning a new profession - a multitude of chances at personal expansion, all the way to learning the art of how to find a real match.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, such a failure is a stream flowing into a dead end, arriving nowhere. Closing this specific outlet, or simply marking it "dead end" will prevent a second, or several more failures of the same type.
Discouragement happens less violently, not by a big blow that completely crushes us, but by many small events that make us lose our optimism and confidence. Of course, big events in the area of Abuse, Perversion, Failure or Rejection can also contribute to a discouraged condition over time. The way to overcome this is a combination of processing with a program that coaches us to perform better in love matters.
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, we are looking at a series of small blockages in a channel or line, each of them not significant enough to stop the flow, but it will get slower and weaker each time it encounters such a hindrance.
Exhaustion (also called burnout) is a big theme for people who are intensely loving and giving to others a lot - their attention, their time, their energy, their work, the very substance of themselves. If they are not suffering from physical exhaustion - work hours going on too long, lack of sleep, no recovery time or recreation -, there is a good chance that in all their exciting projects they have not been paying attention to their balance of Give and Take. And even if they have been receiving some inflow for all the outflow they are doing, there is still a good chance that it did not arrive in their main love language.
If our main love language is "Words of Affirmation" but our wife is doing "Acts of Service" all day, we can get exhausted if we haven't heard even one good word for most of a year. If our main love language is "Physical Touch", she can spend a whole birthday weekend of "Quality Time" with us, probably even garnished with "Receiving Gifts" of an expensive hotel room and exquisite food, and while the celebrations and fireworks are going on, all we feel is that we get more and more hungry for an hour of silence, looking into her eyes, feeling her face between our hands, touching her forehead with our own, holding her tight, dearly making love to her. Too many months of this mismatch of love languages can really make us exhausted.
Sessions can help to uncover such patterns and discharge them a bit, but the main focus will have to be on learning ourselves, and teaching the key people in our life, about the all-important balance of Give and Take, and the 5 love languages.
If we belong to the lucky few who can perceive and receive the energy of spiritual love directly, we also can recharge our batteries in a meeting with another such person. In such an encounter, we don't do anything. We stop all the translations. We look at each other, don't talk, don't think, just silently drink each other's abundant energy of divine bliss. This is not exactly the same as the famous Astral Sex, another type of energetic love encounter. Astral sex, as the name already says, is very sexual in character, while in the spiritual love exchange described above we send the whole spectrum of our own vibrations, and receive the whole spectrum of our love partner's vibrations. We don't specifically blank out the sexual wavelength, but we also don't narrow down to it. What we want is the whole person, all of him, his whole wealth of rich emotions and dynamic presence. Whether such an encounter has a more passionate character or vibrates more gently, or even has a component of humor and fun, totally depends on the people involved. It is the most individual thing that can happen - and maybe the most rewarding...
Along with Perversion, exhaustion is the condition that most asks for alertness in all matters of physical health. It can be an indicator for deteriorating Brain Health, but there are also many other health conditions that can make us feel exhausted or weak in energy. Blood pressure, blood sugar, sleep problems, pregnancy, allergies, infections, toxins - too many possibilities to list them here. Usually when we ask into the Body or one or several Body Centers, there will come a reaction or message in case of a health problem. Maybe it does not give the whole picture, but enough to react and see a doctor (hopefully one who is up-do-date in both mainstream and natural medicine).
Technically, from a viewpoint of physics, exhaustion is the fall of our energy stream's pressure level below a viable range. The system of energy generating points (the network of love partners) is leaking; we are losing substance faster than it can be replaced. We see the same thing in somebody bleeding to death. We can make up for the loss for a while by producing more love energy, but since the system is built for a balance of in- and outflow, we better take the failing generators out of the network, or have them repaired. See the Abuse paragraphs for information about a situation without any love partner.
The medical symptoms of bad brain health overlap to a certain degree with the irrational behaviour that comes from emotional or physical trauma, or other things that we typically address with processing. Therefore it is most important that any processing practitioner knows about the symptoms to watch out for - nothing worse than wasting precious time with processing, when treatment should be happening instead!
Like in a fever dream or a bad LSD trip, a sick brain can display issues completely distorted and out of propertion - especially issues that are charged with Emotional Pain. It will then produce reactions that are totally logical from the inside, but can well be very irrational when viewed from the outside - gradually, the environment will find that this person is going more and more mad. Furthermore, there will typically be too little energy to do anything to improve the condition. Here are some tests to check your own brain condition. We hope you will react when their outcome is sub-optimum - as long as you still have the clarity and the energy!
Brain health can go down rather quickly, but this can also happen so slowly that we don't notice until it is nearly too late, just like the proverbial Boiling Frog, who failed to jump out of the hot water before it killed him! In such a case it is essential to not buy into the hypnotic agreements of mainstream medicine's doctors and nurses, should they try to make you believe that it is "natural to deteriorate at a certain age", or "old age dementia cannot be avoided or cured". This is not true. Alternative medicine, but also the most modern mainstream research knows plenty of things that can be done for a sick brain. It does not have to be permanent, and certainly not final.
Sometimes we have to be our own doctor - in all those cases where mainstream medicine is simply not up-to-date. Some links about brain health are in the Web IVy Health Links - but lots more can be found on the internet. See also our own Body Health Links.
Contrary to all the "walk away" situations described above, a truly loving person will not walk away from someone whose brain health is going down. At least not before they have done everything in their power to get the sick person back to health. Then their ways can separate, if there is nothing left that would keep them connected.
Technically, bad brain health is the corrosion or blockage of pipework - not the energetic channels of love energy, but the physical blood vessels in the body's brain, the organ that anchors our consciousness in the physical plane. This can be fixed with a detox program, chelation therapy or even by eating garlic. The essential thing to do is to recognize the point where irrational behaviour has a physical rather than a mental or spiritual reason.
Declining hormones are driving our process of physical aging, most often with dire consequences for our energy levels and libido, the physical vehicles for any expression of love, sexual or not. Men are hit hardest, as this process is hastened by pollution, which floods our environment with so many synthetic female hormones that even male fish are turning female! Cutting edge medicine has researched the situation and has found a solution in form of bio-identical hormone replacement. Alternatives are offered by nature medicine. We will report more about this in the future - in the meantime we recommend to use search machines and the newest books.
The illustration to the right shows the four categories of people who populate this corner of the universe:
A spiritual being's awareness level can either be on an uptrend or on a downtrend. The decision to turn around can be made at any moment...
People of high awareness on a downtrend
A person who is very aware of deteriorating, and wants to turn this trend around way before hitting the bottom
People of high awareness on an uptrend
A person who is in the process of evolving and growing, and wants to use every opportunity in sight to do that
People of low awareness on an uptrend
A person who feels that things are not well, without knowing exactly what's wrong, and is looking for ways to get better
People of low awareness on a downtrend
People of low awareness on a downtrend are rather unlikely to ask for processing, unless they are sent by somebody else. If they do ask for processing on their own, they may be at a turn-around point where they switch direction from downtrend to uptrend - typically when they have suffered enough -, and we assume that they are now entering an uptrend.
Life Lesson Processing has the right approach for each of these categories. Contact us if you have any questions! Now as an exercise: Which of the four Translation Patterns do we use when we 1. answer your e-mail, or 2. talk to you on Skype, or 3. give you a session? And finally, does that mean that we love you? What do you think?
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Last edited: 13.01.2016